I owe my success to having listened respectfully
to the very best advice,
and then going away and doing the exact opposite.
Advice is what we ask for when we already
know the answer but wish we didn't.
A word to the wise ain't necessary,
it's the stupid ones who need the advice.
Advice is seldom welcome;
and those who want it the most always like it the least.
If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling;
if you can use either one, it's a miracle.
Advice is like snow; the softer it falls,
the longer it dwells upon, and deeper it sinks into the mind.
The best advice I can give is to ignore advice.
Life is too short to be distracted by the opinions of others.
Quit now, you'll never make it.
If you disregard this advice, you'll be halfway there.
If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Experience is a wonderful thing.
It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Someone who thinks logically provides
a nice contrast to the real world.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves
for they shall never cease to be amused.
Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
Ever notice that the people who are late are often much
jollier than the people who have to wait for them?
Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.
You may be only one person in the world,
but you may also be the world to one person.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.
Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can carry easily.
Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been,
but also where you are going.
Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give;
the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly,
and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Don't be afraid to encounter risk.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Don't be afraid to admit you are less than perfect.
It is this fragile thread that binds us together.
Don't give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or future.
By living our life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.
. Don't take for granted the closest things to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.
Don't set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.
Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.
